Finding the good; Avoiding the bad
A few days ago, I read an article about gratitude journals that brought me back to the idea that we deal with things very differently depending on whether we see an opportunity (and a choice) or we see an obligation. The article opened with the author mentioning a friend who expressed scorn for gratitude journals, which led to explicit and implicit engagement with the question of obligation and opportunity.
The author’s criticisms and recommendations suggested to me that the general frame used was one of obligation. To me, the problems identified were generally tied to obligation framing. Since the practice of gratitude journaling has been a tremendous support for me, I wanted to put in some good words for gratitude journals and explore the the way framing as obligation or opportunity impacts the use of the tool.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. The discussion here is based on personal experience and a brief literature review.
Obligation Framing
The very first sentence explicitly gives us an obligation frame: “A few weeks ago, a friend mentioned she was dealing with depression and had to start journaling” (emphasis added). Later, the author wrote “pushing them at the wrong person can backfire.”
The obligation frame also seemed implicit in the comment that “Ten things is too many. The sweet spot. . . is three. Three things feels achievable even on bad days, without triggering the performance anxiety that a longer list creates.” The idea that the gratitude journal sets a target — the “right” number of responses — is essentially an obligation framework.
The author also mentions the possibility of a negative feedback loop that follows from a sense of obligation:
producing a list of everything you have to be grateful for and still feeling terrible can deepen the shame spiral rather than interrupt it. . . . the message can quietly shift from “here’s something that might help” to “your failure to feel better is a gratitude deficit.” That’s not just ineffective. For some people, it makes things worse.
In addition to the obligation issues mentioned by the author, a little literature search revealed another dimension of obligation that can arise in gratitude journals: the sense of indebtedness. (1) When gratitude shifts to indebtedness, a sense of obligation is introduced. With gratitude, there’s no need to respond; with indebtedness, there is. A no-strings-attached gift comes with no obligations; a “gift” that creates obligatory indebtedness isn’t really a gift at all; it’s a transaction, an exchange.
As the author correctly observed: pushing stuff at people (i.e., creating an obligation) can backfire. People view obligations with resentment. Getting people to resent stuff doesn’t seem like the best path towards greater mental health. So if gratitude journaling is accompanied by a strong sense of obligation, that’s a sign to skip the journal, or at least rethink your reasons for doing it.
Opportunity
The emotional landscape changes when we view something as an opportunity instead of an obligation. There is a vast emotional difference between being ordered to do something and choosing to do that thing. Thinking “I can do a gratitude journal if I want” is very different from thinking “I should do a gratitude journal.”
For me, writing a gratitude journal is not an obligation. I first adopted the practice because of the extensive research that suggests that gratitude contributes to better mental health, and I want to break my cycles of negative rumination. Having already benefited from cognitive behavioral work, and believing in the importance of developing new patterns of neural activation through practice, I felt that long-term, repeated work on a gratitude journal would help strengthen my positive gratitude neurology while also giving less fuel to the negative neurology.
As a writer with a good relationship with writing (I usually feel better for writing, even when the writing doesn’t go well), the gratitude journal is also accessible: I don’t struggle to write stuff and don’t have bad feelings about writing stuff. On days when I am struggling to write more significant projects, the gratitude journal is a good way to get started. I can write in my journal until some other idea comes to me.
Academic research
A quick review of academic literature shows that gratitude journals generally show modest positive effects. A 2025 meta-analysis stated: “We found that gratitude interventions led to small overall increases in well-being,” (2) and a 2020 study said “Our results suggest the effects of gratitude interventions on symptoms of depression and anxiety are relatively modest.” (3)
With results like this, we cannot expect gratitude journals to resolve our mental health issues. But then what single therapeutic modality does that?
The fact that gratitude journals have even a small impact suggests their value as one potential tool in a wider toolbox of approaches, with due caution for potential adverse impact. And it should be noted that neither of the surveys mentioned any negative impact of using gratitude interventions, including in cases where some negative emotions are present:
prior research has indicated that Asians tend to experience not only positive emotions but also negative emotions (e.g., indebtedness, guilt), when expressing gratitude toward someone rather than something…Although most types of gratitude interventions generally enhanced well-being, expressing gratitude to others (e.g., writing a gratitude letter) did not yield a statistically significant effect. [2] emphasis added
Indebtedness
A study examined the possibility that gratitude interventions triggered feeling of indebtedness (a negative psychological impact). (1) The study compared Korean and American (US) participants, with Koreans generally expressing more indebtedness. And it compared American participants expressing gratitude for people and those expressing gratitude for non-people, with those expressing gratitude for people feeling more indebtedness.
With this information, we can approach gratitude journals with greater knowledge into what will be effective. We might, for example, limit our gratitude journal to inanimate objects or events (e.g., I’m thankful for this coffee; I’m thankful the sun is shining), or we might try to separate out the emotional threads of gratitude and debt: “I’m very thankful for my mother, and I also feel indebted to her.” A separation like that might allow a person to focus on the gratitude without getting dragged down by the indebtedness. People do separate such emotional complexity all the time. It might be an experiment to try (if you’re already interested in trying a gratitude journal): does a feeling of indebtedness come along with expressing gratitude for a person? If the exercise is unpleasant, don’t force yourself into it. You don’t have to do gratitude journals.
Opportunity, not Obligation
As discussed above, when we have a choice, we feel better. Don’t do a gratitude journal because it’s being forced on you. Do it because you think it might be something small and easy that can help in the long term.
Long-term Practice
For me, gratitude journaling is a long-term practice that has been with me a long time. When I have moments of difficulty, it’s often useful to write in my gratitude journal: It’s helped me feel better in the past; it helps me calm down and look past the present “disaster” that looms in my life.
One of the surveys noted “many researchers argue that seemingly small effects can lead to significant consequences over time and at scale…. Therefore, when practiced regularly in daily life, the effects of gratitude interventions could be nontrivial.” (2)
Conclusion
If you’re interested in trying a gratitude journal, you should try it. There are reasons to believe they can help you feel better. They often help me feel better. Expecting them to resolve all your problems is too much to ask, but they’re low risk.
And, of course, don’t do them if you feel like you’re acting out of obligation. If a gratitude journal feels difficult or annoying or frustrating, that’s a sign to look for other tools.
References
(1) Oishi, S., Koo, M., Lim, N. and Suh, E.M. (2019). When Gratitude Evokes Indebtedness. Appl Psychol Health Well-Being, 11: 286–303. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12155
(2) H. Choi, Y. Cha, M.E. McCullough, N.A. Coles, & S. Oishi. (2025). A meta-analysis of the effectiveness of gratitude interventions on well-being across cultures, Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. U.S.A. 122 (28) e2425193122, https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2425193122
(3) Cregg, D.R., Cheavens, J.S. Gratitude Interventions: Effective Self-help? A Meta-analysis of the Impact on Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety. J Happiness Stud 22, 413–445 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-020-00236-6
This story was initially posted on Medium: https://thoughtclearing.medium.com/the-opportunity-in-gratitude-journals-f1a65ed2f93c
