About 25 centuries ago, the motto “Know Thyself” (Greek: Γνῶθι σεαυτόν, gnōthi seauton) was inscribed at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in Greece. It is advice that has retained its value. Indeed, in a world in which we are bombarded by different media voices telling us that we should want this or that, the ability to know the self becomes more difficult.
Working on understanding myself
I continue to work on understanding myself. In service of that aim, I explore my own perspective on development of self-knowledge through writing, which I share with you here.
Focusing inward; temporarily ignoring external voices
Others have explored the idea of self-knowledge before me, but I want to look inside myself for my answers. I don’t want to be swayed by other voices, even though I have been shaped by them, and their ideas will likely come to mind, even if I mistake them for my own.
Although self-knowledge can grow by listening to others (indeed, the ideas of others are invaluable), until we look for answers inside ourselves, we have only the competing voices of others, each claiming a truth that we may or may not understand.
We want to find our own truth, even though our own truth is likely to change over time.
Self-knowledge is valuable
Self-knowledge supports good decisions. Self-knowledge protects you from the manipulations of others. Self-knowledge, though sometimes challenging, also supports mental health. At least, that is the view of existential psychology like that expressed by Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning.
But the Delphic Oracle’s recommendation already implies the value of self-knowledge, so I don’t want to expend my effort arguing for it. I’m more interested in the process.
Self-knowledge is complex
We are all complex. We have many traits and many desires. We live in complex contexts, creating a variety of different identities: the person we are with our mother is not the person we are with our boss, our school friend, our casual acquaintance, or our pet.
This complexity cannot be encompassed in any single moment. Even in a single role, we are complex: in trying to explain ourselves to our mother, we see a variety of traits and attitudes. In conversations with our mother, we might explore our self-confidence, our ethical and moral values, and our desires. None of those are simple.
And in different roles, we see bigger changes. The intelligence and confidence we feel, and which is “true” to us, when speaking with our mother may be replaced by self-criticism when speaking with a supervisor (or vice versa).
We always change
If we change, then our self-knowledge changes, too. Heraclitus famously said “No one ever steps into the same river twice,” implying not only the constant change in the river, but the constant change in the person who steps into the river.
People change constantly. We learn. We experience. We feel. And our experience changes how we respond to things. We learn to like things that seemed unpleasant (coffee, for example); we get bored with things that were once exciting; we learn to appreciate that which we disdained, and vice versa. As a writer, my work constantly challenges my understanding of the world: every new sentence offers new perspectives.
The practice
Because there is no final destination in the search for self-knowledge, we cannot complete the process of knowing ourselves. What we can do is keep working at it; we can practice self-knowledge.
Many practices involve self-knowledge. Yoga and meditation may not be centered on self-knowledge, but they demand it. Regular prayer is often a practice in understanding hopes and fears, things for which we are grateful and things that upset us. Athletic practices require understanding of one’s body and abilities. To excel in any area, self-knowledge is necessary to identify strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for and means of improvement.
Gentle practice
Because there is no final destination, there is no need to rush. We don’t need a difficult or punitive practice; we need a practice that we continue to practice. As long as we continue, we continue to grow and learn, and our ability increases.
With a gentle practice, it’s easier to develop a positive relationship with the practice. Instead of pushing yourself to the point of pain or frustration, you go in looking for the enjoyment and keep on only as long as it feels good.
If you develop your practice gently, you will likely find that you come to enjoy the challenges. “No pain, no gain,” is vastly different in gentle practice because the motivations and experiences are positive, so some discomfort and frustration are welcomed for the benefit that accompanies them.
We are neurophysiological beings
Practice alters our neurophysiology. When we repeat things, they become easier, more familiar, more comfortable. Repetition builds neurophysiological circuits. The more we think about any subject, including ourselves, the more neurophysiology we have to support thinking, in general, and specifically. If you have an insight about yourself and you explore that insight, neural circuits develop.
Writing exercises
As a writer and writing coach, I like written exercises, especially easy ones that can be fun or calming. This story, like many that I write, was itself an exercise in self-knowledge.
Practices like a gratitude journal, to-do lists, or lists of hopes/desires can all be done easily: we just jot down a few words. I write all the time, and all writing offers a chance at self-exploration, so I don’t use these different exercises all the time. But whenever I don’t have a writing goal in mind, I do one of these. My gratitude journal is just a list of “I’m thankful for [something]. To-do lists and lists of goals are even simpler: just bullet points, often single words.
All of these practices can help me calm myself: rather than my thoughts racing and building anxiety, the focus on a list, especially a list of good things or potential good things, settles me, and allows me to take care of small steps that move me towards my larger goals.
Do you have any practices that build self-knowledge? What small steps can you take to build self-knowledge through practice?
